You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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