Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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