when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
