We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
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