i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize