yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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