Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
