Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
