my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
