Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
