I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
