I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
