i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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