Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
