I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
"it" just moved
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
