Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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