I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
