just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
please come you make the beer taste better
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
