I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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