At least make sure they are 18
Why
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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