Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
