I don't usually arrange sex via text message
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
