Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
