My Higher Power is John Stamos
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize