pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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