im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
