He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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