Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
