just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
