there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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