It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
