i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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