Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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