All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
