shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
