I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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