drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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