STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
me + whiskey = a bad person
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
