After last night, I could never be a politician.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
