Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
