He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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