I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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