people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
