Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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