Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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