i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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