Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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