he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
