Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
