Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
