Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
