when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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