I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
