At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
