Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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