Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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