She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
