ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
