In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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