if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
tell me about the eggs
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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